Observations

I don't want people to think I am weird, although it might be a little late for that, but I love to people watch.
Don't get me wrong. I am neither a creeper nor a stalker, but I find it fascinating what people will do when they don't realize people are watching them. Here are some of my favorite observations.
I love to go to the computer center to write my articles and papers because I can focus better. While there, I sit back in my chair and look around to see what people are doing. There is a couple I see there a lot, and they seem to be very much in love. I have no problem with people in love, but this couple drives me crazy.
Last week I was sitting near the girl in this wonderful couple when her boyfriend showed up. She was happy to see him, which is normal for a couple in love. The part that bugged me was that he sat down in her chair, and she sat in his lap. They stayed like this for the rest of the time they were at the computer lab. Oh how freakin' cute.
I don't want to sound mean, but do they realize they are in a public place where that might be distracting? Any kind of public displays of affection (anything more than a hug or holding hands) in an actual public setting (homes and apartments don't count) drives me crazy. I mean, I get uncomfortable at weddings when the groom kisses the bride. So, lap-sitting couple in the computer lab, knock it off!
Another favorite observation of mine was while I was growing up in Gunnison. You see, in Gunnison there is not much to do so we would often venture up to Provo to have a good time. One time we decided to glue a quarter to the mall floor and watch people try to pick it up. This provided hours, OK minutes, of entertainment.
My favorite was when people would bend over to pick it up, and it took them a while to realize that it was glued down. My other favorite was kids trying to pick it up and then asking their parents to try. It became a family activity to try and get it off the floor. One dad even started kicking at it, hoping to get it loose. I always wondered why people tried so hard to pick it up; it was only a quarter.
I also love watching a guy approach a girl whom he thinks is attractive. This may be my favorite thing to watch. Guy sees girl, girl tries to ignore guy, guy talks to girl, girl rejects guy, guy thinks he was successful and walks away in triumph. Can it get any better than that?
I love watching this happen around the school. A guy will try and make small talk and get a girl's number, but the girl dances around the question. The guy will try to be smooth, sitting on the edge of the table and telling jokes. Sometimes I just want to walk up to the guy and tell him to move on because it isn't working.
Other honorable mentions are when people fall down stairs in public, mouth the words to their music, and dance in their cars. I love to make fun of those people, even though I am guilty of all of those embarrassing activities.
So, next time you are in a public place and you think no one is looking, be careful that I am not in the room, or you might end up in the newspaper.

No Regrets

The Mr. Dixie pageant is done for the year, and once again I lost, but I think the judges got it right this time.

I again failed to claim the title of Mr. Dixie. The weird thing is that I don't really mind. I have decided that winning is not everything. I did win Mr. Congeniality, which was awesome. So at least I got a crown and a cool sash.

My friend Nolan Hanley is the new Mr. Dixie, and he deserves it. I mean, he did a back flip on the stage, which was freaking amazing. All guys in the pageant were unique in their own way. As I got to know them all, I started to realize that any of them could have won, and I would have been fine with it.

As I took a moment after the pageant was over to contemplate why I lost, I started to think of the journey. Here are some of the things that I learned.

I can still control a crowd. I again realized how fun it is to get in front of a crowd and make them laugh. That is one of the greatest feelings that I have had in a long time. I love making people laugh, and I think I am good at it.

Next, I learned that I am really good with my mouth (don't take that the wrong way). If you were there, you would have seen my wonderful talent. For the last week I have been practicing throwing marshmallows in the air and catching them in my mouth. I learned some new tricks, like throwing them behind my back and under my leg. My favorite part of my talent was when I had my friend Jacob Hurst throw marshmallows, which I caught in my mouth. Trust me; it is harder than it looks.

Another thing I learned is that being in a pageant is hard work. Having to practice that silly dance number and walking through all the positions for every portion of the pageant was hard. I forgot more than once where I was supposed to go and what I was supposed to say. It is a lot of pressure and running around. I will never make fun of girls in pageants again. I will just respect them.

I also realized that I don't have to be Mr. Dixie to show the school that I love it. I just need to continue going to the basketball games and continue being loud and annoying. As long as I have school spirit I will be fine. I might not be remembered here in five years, but at least my school spirit will still be strong. In all reality they should probably make a statue of me, so people will always remember the amazing Holland Olsen.

For all you guys out there, make sure to do the Mr. Dixie pageant next year. It is one of the most fun activities that I have done in my college career. Make it fun and just be yourself. After all, you are only in college once (hopefully).

Mr. Dixie

The Mr. Dixie Pageant is on Friday, and I have a good feeling about it this year.I ran for Mr. Dixie last year.

I thought I did a good job, but I did not claim the top prize. Heck, I was not even in the top three.
As I stood on the stage waiting for the announcement I could hear my name being chanted throughout the audience. In the mist of chants repeating "Holland, Holland," I then heard a different name announced as the winner. I was shocked. How could I lose? Was that actually possible?

Well, it was possible, and it happened. This year I have a new outlook on the pageant, including a newfound desire to claim that top prize. I will now proceed to tell you why I think I should be Mr. Dixie.

The first reason that I should be Mr. Dixie is that I am Holland "Frickin'" Olsen. I know almost everyone. Have you heard of the seven degrees of separation? Well that theory says everyone is connected to anyone else in the world by only seven steps or people. Here at Dixie State College, I think it is more like two steps of separation to Holland. That makes me a very important and well-known person on campus.

The second reason that I should be Mr. Dixie is because I embody the "Dixie Spirit." Seriously, when you look up Dixie Spirit in the dictionary there is a picture of me waving back at you (not in reality, but definitely in my imagination). I love everything about this school: I love the lack of parking, and all the ways that I can get tickets from the campus cops. I love the Dixie dance team and the cheerleaders (they love me back too; this is not a stalking situation). I love all the sports teams, and I especially love standing on the front row of the student section, screaming at the top of my lungs. These are the things that I live for.

Another reason I should be Mr. Dixie is because of my wardrobe. If you took a tour of my closet you would find that more than half of my shirts have the word "Dixie" on them. Do you realize what this means? It means that I have a lot of red shirts! It also means I attend a lot of DSC activities. Mr. Dixie should be the type of guy who goes to all of the activities and is active within the structure of the college. That is me; I am that guy.

I also think that I should be Mr. Dixie because I am the X-Club president. X-Club is an all-male club that focuses on service, school spirit and school traditions. The guys in the X-Club are quite possibly the coolest group of guys on campus. It is only natural to think that the president of the best group of guys on campus should become Mr. Dixie.

The final reason that I should be Mr. Dixie is my glorious body. I don't want to sound overly conceited, but I think that I am downright sexy. I am also all man. I mean, I have a beard, what is more manly than that? All my friends call me "Big Sexy" for a reason. Some people think that being overweight is ugly, but if you can work it like I do, it is a beautiful thing.

I would be the greatest Mr. Dixie ever. With all the things I bring to the table, including my good looks, I should be a shoe-in for Mr. Dixie. So if you want to see me in action, come to the Mr. Dixie pageant

Holland's Life: Doctors

If you have seen me walking around campus or trying to walk down a flight of stairs, you may have noticed I have been walking with a limp for quite some time now.

About a month and a half ago, I was playing flag football in the mud. As I ran a route, I made a cut, slipped in the mud, felt my knee buckle, and went down. My team only had seven players that night, so I could not sit out and try to see how bad it was. I continued to play through the pain. Teammates were asking me if I was OK as I hobbled to and from the huddle. To make things worse, I got a charlie horse in both legs, so if I bent or extended either of them it would hurt. Through the night, I went down several more times, even once when I dived to catch a ball.

The next morning I woke up, got out of bed, and fell to the ground in pain. Most people who feel that way would have checked their medical insurance and gone to the doctor, but not me. I got up, literally hopped into the shower, and went to school barely able to walk. I would rather chop my leg off with a hacksaw than go to the doctor.

I have always hated going to the doctor's office. Maybe I developed a subconscious fear of hospitals because of an extended stay in the hospital when I was born with a hole in my lungs that caused them to collapse. Another reason could be every time I go to the doctor I learn another unexpected problem that I need to take care of.

For example, in a weight lifting class in high school I was spotting my friend while he was doing military presses. As my friend got near the end of his set, I noticed that he was starting to lean backward while the weight was still in the air. I put out my hands to stop him from falling backward. The only problem was that I stopped him from falling over, but that did not stop the weight. As I looked up, my friend dropped the weight behind him, and the bar was so gracefully introduced to my face, all 185 pounds of it. I got knocked out and was bleeding pretty badly. I went to the doctor to get stitches right under my eye.

That part of the trip was expected, but the part I did not expect was when they did an x-ray on my back because it had been giving me problems. That is the day that I learned that I have an extra vertebra in my lower back. Yeah, talk about an unexpected surprise. My doctor told me that I should not lift anymore and should maybe even stop playing football. I took the news quite well, and then ignored it and continued to condition for football.

Another time I learned some unexpected news was when I lived in Fiji. I hurt my shoulder playing rugby with a bunch of kids in the village I was living in. I jumped over a boy I had fallen over. While in mid-air I realized that I was not going to be able to land on my feet. I thought that I would just tuck and roll like I had done hundreds of times in football. I soon found out that the reason it works so well in football is because I was wearing pads. As the weight of my body focused on my right shoulder, I heard a pop and felt extreme pain.

I knew something was wrong when I stood up and could not lift my arm at all. The doctor was very helpful, took x-rays and even took an ultrasound of my shoulder. The doctor found out my shoulder popped out and right back in. Now for the part I didn't expect: They told me my collarbone is not connected to my rotator cuff. There is literally a half-inch gap where there should be bone and cartilage. I know, I am a freak.

Maybe my fear of doctors came when I a dog bit me (again while living in Fiji), and the doctor's only cure was having me rip out a hair from the dog's tail and rub it on the open wound. I don't care how long it bled (four days straight) or how badly it hurt, I was not going to go back to the dog that had just taken a chunk out of my leg to rip out a hair from his tail just so I could get an infection or rabies.

Or maybe it was because I was hospitalized with a blood infection within less than 24 hours of me returning to Utah from Fiji, or maybe it was Fiji in general. It might even be all these events added together.

I think I have had some bad luck when it comes to doctors, maybe more than my share, which is the reason that no matter how much my knee hurts, I put off going back to the doctor. My main excuse is if I go to the doctor, I already know what he is going to tell me. He will say nothing is wrong after taking more x-rays of my "healthy" knee. He would probably add that I should take it easy for a couple weeks and not play sports. I will take the news well and then successfully ignore everything he says. Who needs a knee to play sports, anyway?

Morons

I have read almost every story I can find on Plaxico Burress because I think it is hilarious that he shot himself in the leg. Now Burress is being suspended from the Giants for the rest of the season. I hope he gets more than that as a punishment. A normal person would get jail time for carrying a concealed weapon without a permit, so I hope he does too. I am sick of celebrities getting star treatments. Michael Vick is serving jail time for dog fighting, and that is what he deserves. I think that Burress should also get what is coming to him, if he is proven guilty.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3738905

Where do they go?

I found an article about John McCain still campaigning. There will be a run off in Georgia between Republican senator Saxby Chambliss and the democrat candidate Jim Martin. McCain will be helping Chambliss during the extended campaign. I think it is good for McCain to continue campaigning, because what else is he going to do now that he is not going to be President. That is a question I have always wondered, where is do the candidates go? When a Presidential candidate loses the election where do they go? Do they go on vacation to make themselves happy, or do they just go home and sulk in their loss? Either way it seems that the majority of the country will be happy that they are out of the spot light.
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/

Holland's Life - Looking Ahead

I have been facing some very trying times lately because of school.

No, it is not the homework or even all my classes that seem to keep piling up and running together. The real reason that I am having so much trouble is because I am almost done with school. I always thought that I would be really happy when my senior year came along, but I have found out that is just not the case.

Growing up is the opposite of fun. Responsibility is just too much sometimes. Why can't I just stay the way I am? Who said I can't just stay in college the rest of my life? These were the thoughts running through my head last week.

You see, I have a problem with adulthood. I am 22 years old, soon to be 23, and I don't really feel like an adult, so why do I have to start acting like one?

I had a conversation with one of my professors last week who was a little concerned with the way I act inside and outside the classroom. He was concerned that I was not taking my schooling seriously. He noticed that I don't take many notes and that I miss class every once in a while. He wanted me to start acting like a senior instead of a sophomore.

I was glad he sat me down and talked to me about these important issues. In my defense, I have never been good at taking notes on any kind of class, but I still have passed every class I have taken in college with a B- or better.

To his other concerns about me not taking school seriously and acting like a sophomore, all I can say is that I am technically a sophomore. This is my fourth semester in college. I will be graduating with my degree in communication after only five semesters. I think that is taking my education seriously. I have not wasted time taking bowling or basketball classes, I have worked hard to get where I am.

Putting all that aside, I have thought a lot about what my professor had to say. That is what got me worried. Will I have to grow up and be boring at a normal job when I graduate? I hope not!

For me life is about more than just moving ahead, "graduating" from things and moving on to the next task. I think the more important thing is to have as much fun in life as I can no matter what stage of life I am in. I like to have fun in all aspects of my life, everything from school, work and even church (whoever said church was boring has never been to church with me and Brock Bybee).

So I have started to get nervous about graduating and not being able to have fun like I am now. For example, when I graduate will I still be able to duck tape my roommate to the wall, a foot off the ground? I think not! Will I be able to get into every sporting event for free? Not anymore! Will I have thousands of girls scream my name at the verge of tears when I get on a stage? Hopefully, but that will probably never happen again.

So what really happens when you leave college? Do you transform into a super adult? I don't think it will be that simple. I think I will have to really work at being a professional business person. I will definitely have to hold in my sarcasm and humor while in important meetings. Where is the fun in that?

I know what I will have to do to maintain the fun in my life. I will have to do what I have always done and make my job fun. This time it might be a little more difficult than telling some fat jokes and making people like me through humor because this time I will actually have to work.

I guess growing up and graduating from college could be worse. I mean, at least I don't have kids yet.